For some people, a deep sense of grief washes over them immediately upon something upsetting happening. For others, it's common to not really feeling anything — at least, not for a while. This is a situation commonly known as delayed grief, and is something that people of all ages, including young adults, can experience. You may feel badly that you aren't exhibiting the same immediate grief symptoms as those around you, but this doesn't mean that you care less. It simply means that at this moment, you're processing your grief in a different way. Here are three signs that you're dealing with delayed grief.
You Want Things To Be Normal
After something tragic, such as the death of a loved one, many people will focus on their grief for a period of days. If you're someone who is dealing with delayed grief, however, you're comfortable with trying to keep things as normal as possible. For example, while other family members might circle together and share their thoughts and memories of the person who has passed away, you might perform a variety of everyday activities — working out at the gym, cutting the grass, and other such things. In this moment, you may find comfort in having things feel normal.
You're Annoyed With Others
An unfortunate scenario that can sometimes be present for those dealing with delayed grief is annoyance over those who are displaying their grief right away. For example, if you see people comforting each other and struggling in the wake of a family member's death, a part of you may wonder why they can't just deal with their feelings like you. What you might not know is that you're dealing with delayed grief, and even if you don't feel much grief now, you soon will. It's important in these moments to be gentle to those around you and attempt to support them.
You Feel Guilty
There may also be a big part of you that feels guilty for not seeming to experience grief in the same way as others in your social circle. For example, you might understand and accept that people are upset following a family member's death, and start to be hard on yourself for not sharing these emotions at the same time. You may attempt to experience grief or perhaps even fake some tears so that you feel more normal. Delayed grief is common, and if you feel as though you need some support through this process, turn to a grief counselor.
For more information, reach out to companies like Lifeline.
For a long time, I wasn't sure if my counseling was really working or not. It felt like no matter what I did, I just couldn't stay on top of my personal frustrations, so I started addressing those concerns with my counselor. I was able to find a counselor who really understood what I was up against, and it was really neat to talk with her about everything that I was having a hard time with. We chatted about everything in my life ranging from the initial issues I started having to my daily struggles at work, and I felt like those early talks were helping a lot. On this blog, find out more about working with counselors and making things right.