When you married your spouse, you probably never knew that things could get really tough. Of course, you probably knew that there would be spats and maybe even some pretty harsh disagreements. But never in a million years did you imagine that things could get so bad that you would consider splitting up, right? If that has happened in your marriage, perhaps you will do pretty much anything in order to make things right again.
From trying to fix your marriage problems yourselves to arranging for marriage therapy, here are some ideas that might help you.
Things You Can Try Yourselves - You can't really give your marriage the big boost it needs until both of you acknowledge that there is a problem, right? Would your spouse be willing to sit down and make a plan together? Even if you have to be the one to be proactive, it's worth the try, isn't it? If you have it in your heart to express love to your spouse and to tell him or her how sad you are over the state of your marriage, be the first to start a dialogue that might begin to heal your marriage.
Together, make a plan of things that could help. For example, maybe both of you have given your personal interests too much attention. Even your participation in service organizations might have topped the time you spend with your spouse. Or, it might be that you are devoting time to your work that could be spent with your husband or your wife.
Plan things together that would bring fun into your relationship. For example, did you used to love doing miniature golf together? Have you loved cooking together in the past? Maybe you could put a plan in action. For example, you could choose a fun activity for a weekend date one week and your spouse could choose one the next week. Be creative. Be kids again.
Arrange For Marriage Counseling - Maybe things like fun dates just won't help. Perhaps one of you has not been true to your marriage vows and there is true hurt in your spouse's heart. Or, maybe there has been another huge disappointment or hurt that one of you created. If that's the case, think of making arrangements to go to marriage counseling.
Even if your spouse won't go to marriage therapy with you, consider going by yourself. Eventually, when your spouse sees how important your marriage is to you, perhaps he or she will join you in counseling. A marriage counselor has the training and the experience to know how to give your marriage the big boost you are looking for. Your family doctor or your ecclesiastic leader will have names of reputable marriage counselors that can help you.
For a long time, I wasn't sure if my counseling was really working or not. It felt like no matter what I did, I just couldn't stay on top of my personal frustrations, so I started addressing those concerns with my counselor. I was able to find a counselor who really understood what I was up against, and it was really neat to talk with her about everything that I was having a hard time with. We chatted about everything in my life ranging from the initial issues I started having to my daily struggles at work, and I felt like those early talks were helping a lot. On this blog, find out more about working with counselors and making things right.